CREEPIEST SONG OF THE 70′s is Down to Two — Vote Now!

After many months and many fallen contenders (“Timothy,” “Cats in the Cradle,” “Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia,” “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” and on and on) we’re down to our final two. Let’s break ‘em down, Dick Vitale style (which, ironically, is also pretty creepy):

First we have CLAIR, by Gilbert O’Sullivan.

WHAT’S CREEPY ABOUT IT? It’s a love song from a grown man to a little girl. Not an “I love this kid, she’s a pip” love song but rather an “I want to marry her” love song. Plus the guy who wants to marry the little girl is named Gilbert O’ Sullivan.

WATCH HIM LIP SYNC IT HERE: Clair

Then we have “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro. Technically, this song came out in the late 60′s but after an exhaustive appeal to the Board of Governors it was allowed in this contest and in true “Rudy” fashion, made it all the way to the finals.

WHAT’S CREEPY ABOUT IT? It’s a song about a guy who’s always laughing at his young, dopey wife. Then she dies. With no warning. Creepy and very hard to dance to.

WATCH HIM LIP SYNC IT HERE: Honey

VOTE RIGHT NOW ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT OF THIS PAGE AND PASS THIS ALONG TO EVERYONE ON THE PLANET. YES, IT’S THAT IMPORTANT.

Creepiosity Index:
0 out of 10

Rate the Creepiness!

8.7 out of 10 (7 votes cast)

Lisa

2 years ago

My vote goes for “Timothy” by the Buoys

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Alan Goldenhar

1 year ago

Honey is creepy, however I would give the honor to “Horse with no name”. Why can’t you remember your name in the desert? Also, as a former English major I would say that the line: “There ain’t no one for to give you no pain” is really poorly constructed!

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Jeff

5 months ago

About the time this tune was popular, I had a crush on a young woman by that name. She never knew, and later had a family of her own and since died of complications of cancer in 2004 (which I didn’t learn about until much later). That crush probably biased my understanding of the lyrics a bit, and I chose to believe it was a love song for grownups that I could use. Oh well. First of all, observe the spelling (my crush had an e). Secondly, at that age I had little concept of other societies (=accents) a singer might be from. Reading printed lyrics for the first time in forty years changes the meaning of the song significantly. Words in [brackets] are what I heard, or comments.

Lyrics to Clair :

Clair, the moment I met you, I swear
I felt as if something, somewhere
Had happened to me, which [just] I couldn’t [be] see
And then, the moment I met you, again
I knew in my heart that we were friends
It had to be so, it couldn’t be [known] no

But try as hard as I might [to] do, I don’t know why
You get to me in a way I can’t [disguise] describe
Words mean so little when you look up and smile
I don’t care what people say
To me you’re more than a child

Oh, Clair
Clair

Clair, if ever a moment so rare
Was captured for all to compare
That moment is you in all that you do
But why in spite of our age difference do I cry [may-december?]
Each time I leave you I feel I could die
Nothing means more to me than hearing you say
“I’m going to marry you
Will you marry me, [oh coup ray] Uncle Ray ? ”

Oh, Clair
Clair

Clair, I’ve told you before “Don’t you dare” [--]
“Get back into bed”
“Can’t you see that it’s late”
“No you can’t have a drink”
“Oh, alright then, but wait just a [minute] bit ” [this is a perfectly reasonable exchange for two lovers, too]

While I[], [end] in an effort to babysit, capture my breath
What there is left of it
You can be murder[ed] at this hour of the day
But in the morning this [song] hour will seem a lifetime away [cold...]
Oh Clair
Clair
Oh Clair

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